When a child is in a vulnerable state, try to mirror and reflect back objectively, to make a connection.
〰 〰 Have you ever been really upset and someone approaches you with an affect and tone that is completely out of whack from your mood?
(Like super cheerful and peppy, or annoyed and agitated?)
It can be infuriating, hurtful, or just make you feel further isolated and unwilling to share. 〰 〰 Now imagine a child sitting against a wall, alone, looking sad.
You quietly approach and softly ask, "Would it be okay if I sit down with you?" 〰 〰 From there, if the answer was "okay." You could try to match their mood and sitting style, before trying to talk to them more.
〰 〰 There are endless approaches to take from there, but it all starts with initially mirroring and reflecting back to them what you objectively see.